A friend said something a couple of weeks ago - a throwaway comment that made space in my brain and got more importance than it deserved. “You read loads of books. It’s because you don’t drink.”
For a couple of days, I wondered what she meant. Did she mean that every time she opened a bottle or went to the pub, she assumed I was sitting and reading, and missing out on a social life? Because I do still go to the pub. I don’t leave parties early and come home and read. I don’t step away from my mates the minute a martini enters the equation and get through the Booker Shortlist. But that’s what she was inferring. That because I don’t drink, I have time to do other stuff.
And after being really pissed off about it, I realised that she’s absolutely right…. kind of. I don’t miss out on any social events because I don’t drink. I still go to weddings and 40ths and nights out and dinners around a table that pays homage to Ottolenghi. But I do miss out on hangovers. On Sunday mornings when I couldn’t commit to anything more complicated than scrolling Instagram and feeling shit. On going to bed a bit pissed, reading two chapters and then having to read them again the next day. I don’t go to things I don’t really want to, because I just say no to them now, rather than go along and hope booze will get me through. And yeah, I do leave parties earlier than I used to. Maybe that’s boring. Or maybe nothing happens after 2am, as Ed Sheeran sang, and I miss the bit of the night when everything’s a bit crap anyway, and I’m at home in bed having saved a bit on the babysitter.
I’ve also worked out what my non-negotiables are in life, and the two biggest ones (apart from cuddling my kids) are movement (I can’t say ‘exercise’ as it makes me think of the endless Cindy Crawford work outs I used to do, which were miserable… but it is exercise, and it’s not miserable any more), and reading. Both make me feel better. Both widen my world and challenge me. Both are affordable, and I can share both with friends. Talking about books I love with someone else who also loved it is one of my fave conversations (recent brilliant chats have been about Demon Copperhead, The Marriage Portrait, The Bee Sting, Prophet Song and The Great Circle). It took ditching the drink to help me prioritise the things I love and push them to the top of my ‘to do’ list.
So yeah. I do read a lot. And I guess it’s partly because I don’t drink. And actually - I’m totally fine with that.
What should I read next?!